About Me

So you want to know about me, huh? Ah ha ha ha ha! That’s the oldest trick in the book. You clicked “About Me” and now you have a temporal vortex under your bathroom sink. The next time you open it to get the toilet bowl cleaner, you will be sucked through and extruded into the Silurian period like Play-Doh® Barber Shop hair.

You can probably tell from my blog that I’m an artist, pigment geek, color freak, materials enthusiast, and have many things to say about the creative process. But there are many things still unknown. Here are a few in no specific order of importance:

One of my favorite things to do is write paranormal and sci-fi satire and make dorky collages with my sister. While she was here for the holidays, we made a few mockups featuring a dog we have named Auflauf (the German word for casserole). This is Auflauf riding a bike.



I love television shows and movies about zombies or giant predators that have been mutated or cross-bred or genetically engineered by a megalomaniacal scientist. In case you didn’t know, there is a great one called Mega Python vs. Gatoroid starring Debbie Gibson and Tiffany that is particularly life-altering.

Chocolate chip cookie dough and ice cream are not safe around me. I will eat it all. Bring all ice cream and cookie dough to me immediately.

I have lexical-gustatory synesthesia, which means that most words cause me to taste and/or smell something, almost always food, beverages, or flowers.

I’m from Parkersburg, West Virginia and that’s why I get to ridicule it with impunity. There are some cool things about this town, but also plenty of material for my scathing satire.